Turning A New Page

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I believe that there is a time in every woman’s life where she must come to terms with her mistakes, her misgivings…her flaws and cast the formidable “pride” aside (at least for a while).
Growing up as a child, I’d never been financially fortunate or stable but I was lucky indeed to have had (I still do) the privilege of a blooming love around me. An unconditional and compassionate love that I would not trade for the world as it is this love that has made me into the person I am today. At 19 years old, I must admit that I may still be too young to fully grasp the total aspects of this world and commit myself completely to the spasms and rocky hills of love…but hey, I can try, can’t I? And I am more than willing to. ‘Eager’ would be the best word.
My mother had always taught me never to lose my identity…neither for love OR what I might think love is. There is no such thing. I should not be forced to make such a sacrifice!  True love accepts you for who you are. For at the end of the day, what matters most is that I should be able to look in the mirror and recognize myself for who I am…and not for what the world has molded me into. I’ve had my share of heartaches and losses in life (yes, I’m completely human and if you cut me you’ll see a red liquid oozing out called blood) but there is no use moping about feeling sorry for myself. I have to take action as an individual and become a better person just for the heck of it. Just because I want to.
So, I’ve created a list of apologies I feel I owe to myself, for Kat Richter has been such an inspiration in my life since lately. Here are five (5) of them:

1. I’m sorry that sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and hate what I see.
2. I’m sorry I’ve made myself believe that I cannot have FUN just for having fun’s sake…
3. I’m sorry that sometimes I keep my true self guarded out of fear of getting hurt.
4. I’m sorry I’ve lied to myself countless times–dimming my true potential simply out of shyness.
5. I’m sorry that I don’t allow myself to tell HIM I love him as much as I should–as much as I DO.

After writing my list, I figured that I had discovered a lot more about myself than I had imagined I would have. So, today I have recognized just what I need to do about it. And this list takes effect immediately:

1. I’m beautiful. Completely breathtaking right down to every dark spot, acne mark and cellulite.
2. I’ll start having FUN because deep down I know that I want to take a well-needed break from my boorish reserved life.
3. I promise to be more open and giving. I refuse to let the possibility of getting hurt (again) hold me back anylonger. It’s not worth it.
4. This one may take some time and a bit more effort to accomplish but I promise to work on releasing my inhibitions and insecurities; and pursue my dreams, utilizing my abilities to my fullest potential.

AND

5. I LOVE YOU, KR!! I will now say it more often as I understand that even though you know that I do, it wouldn’t hurt to hear it.

P.S. KR just happens to be one of the best things to happen to me in a very long while.

A New Beginning. An Awakening.

A New Beginning. An Awakening.

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Things Girls Wish Guys Knew

Are you kidding me...?

Are you kidding me…?

So…..yesterday, I posted the article ‘Rules That Guys Wish Girls Knew’ and I have to say, I still find some of those rules hilarious even though the  meaning within and behind the words rang very true. In case you are wondering, YES, those rules were created by man simply for the benefit of themselves (not by women who THINK they know what men think). In this,and I assume the reason for creating the rules is that, women can be more educated–so to speak–about the male mind and in the long wrong understand their men and thus benefiting from this knowledge as well.  

Guys, I know sometimes you rarely can seem to understand your woman. Heck, we are the most complicated creatures that exist! This list is for you too… if you want to be prepared on how to better understand her rants and rages or just simply know what to do, what NOT to do and HOW to do it. Women can be very frustrating, we know, but bear with us please. We really can’t help it! Behind it all, we are just gentle beings who are afraid of getting hurt so we allow even the tiniest things to tick us off. We love you loads but we are easily threatened…and things you might consider as ‘simple’ really aren’t in our world.

On the other hand, speaking as a woman, I know that there are many things that we would just love to blurt to our men but do not–or cannot–find the courage to do so. Come on, you know what I’m talking about here 😉 : the moment he’s checking out another girl right in front of you… OR …you’re waiting endlessly for his phone call and it comes a whole decade later (exaggeration but that’s how long it feels like). So ladies, if you’re the type who is too shy to voice your feelings to your man at times, I have one key advice for you:

GET A COPY OF THESE RULES… SLAM IT DOWN BEFORE HIM AND SAY, “READ THIS.”

[DISCLAIMER: Be prepared to receive an earful about what he thinks is garbage and what he ‘knows’ is simply…..more garbage]

Lol.  In the end, don’t you worry yourself about what he doesn’t agree to. As a guy, he WILL find some of it to reject. It’s purely in his nature. At the end of the day–and at the end of him reading those rules–the words would have sunk in, trust me. He WILL get the picture you’re so vividly painting!!

SO HERE THEY ARE:

1. Don’t tell us when you think other girls are hot.

2. We know you might have crushes…but do keep them in their place. It’s YOUR duty to do so. We don’t have time for that drama.

3. We love when you brag and boast about us. Makes us feel cherished.
4. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
5. There is no such thing as too much spooning.
6. We think about you ALL the time.
7. This is how we see it . . . Don’t call = Don’t Care.
8. Which also means that if we don’t call, take the hint.
9. We like you to be a little jealous . . . but overly possessive is not necessary.
10. We hate that you can eat all you want and not get fat (some of us, at least).
11. Return favours: we massage, you massage; we go down, you go down; we shave, you shave (and not just your face).
12. Foreplay is not an option . . . its a prerequisite.
13. We’re allowed to be late . . . you are not.
14. Eye contact is key.
15. Don’t take longer to get ready than we do.
16. Laugh at our jokes.
17. Three words . . . honesty, honesty, honesty.
18. Groupies are UNACCEPTABLE.

19. We never have to wonder if your orgasm was real.
20. Do not start with us. You will not win.
21. Would you like it if a guy treated your sister that way? We didn’t think so.
22. If you ask nicely, we usually answer the same way.
23. We will never have enough clothes or shoes!
24. We have an excuse to act bitchy at least once a month.
25. Open the door for us no matter where we are . . . even at our house and getting into the car.
26. We love surprises!
27. We liked to be kissed softly, not with an iron tongue.
28. Pay attention to the little things we do, because they mean the most.
29. Boxers and maybe boxer briefs sometimes . . . NEVER whitey-tighties, NEVER!
30. Clean your room before we come over.
31. Always brush your teeth before you see us . . . a fresh mouth and white teeth are a necessity.
32. We always want to talk to you. Us having an argument does not give you the right to not call.
33. Even though you are sometimes insensitive and hurt us, we still love you with everything we are.
34. ALWAYS introduce us as your girlfriend. ‘Friend’? That’s what you’d be if you don’t.
35. Don’t act hard around your friends because I won’t make you hard tonight.
36. Sometimes “NO!” really means “NO!”
37. “Wife Beaters” are not an adequate form of fashion.
38. If we wanted to be on video tape, we’d be a porn star not your girlfriend.
39. Sensitive guys are great . . . but crying more than we do in a movie just isn’t right.
40. Don’t let ex-girlfriends cause drama, relationships are stressful enough.
41. It takes a special kind of stupid to forget birthdays.
42. Guys who are good cuddlers = guys who know how to satisfy a woman.
43. “Fat Chicks” have feelings too.
44. Silent treatment, shoulder shrugs, tears, yelling and nasty looks all add up to . . . YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG!
45. If you are not a good dancer, please be self-aware.
46. Just because a girl doesn’t pick up on the first ring doesn’t mean she’s not waiting by the phone.
47. You don’t have to spend a lot, if it means a lot.
48. Don’t say you love me if you don’t mean it.
49. Don’t lie to us . . . we will catch you.
50. When the girls get together, we talk about EVERYTHING. Meaning my best friends know everything about you.

HAVE ALL THAT IN CHECK AND WE’LL BE THE HAPPIEST GIRL YOU’LL EVER HAVE. IN OTHER WORDS…YOU CAN STOP SWEATING NOW! 😉

Yup;that's all we're asking, baby!

Yup; that’s all we’re asking, baby!

 

Rules That Guys Wish Girls Knew ;-)

So, I ran into this article a couple days ago and simply HAD to share it with you guys. I find it very interesting and I do believe that it provides an extremely good insight into the minds of guys…and what us women should be aware of. It would seriously help in understanding our men and therefore improving lots of relationships which may (or may not–whatever the case) lack a certain degree of communication. After all, in the end it is all worth it. Whatever we may think, we simply cannot live without them.

WARNING: SOME OF THESE RULES ARE DEEMED EXTREMELY HILARIOUS (BUT TRUE NEVERTHELESS!!)

images[SOURCE: http://showcase.netins.net/web/tash/rules/rules.html%5D

1. Sometimes we just don’t want to talk. Don’t take it personally.
2. We notice other women because we are men and we are alive. This does not mean we’re planning to dump you and jump them.
3. Our favorite T-shirts are not “disgraceful.” They show our loyalty to our college, our favorite sports team, our favorite beer, our favorite vacation or number 23.
4. Helpless is not cute.
5. Get to the point.
6. Understand that men are single-minded and can only do one thing at a time. So don’t talk to us while we’re doing something. We will either ignore you, because we don’t hear you “honestly), or we’ll screw up what we’re doing because you’ve distracted us.
Exception to Rule 6. Interrupt us if something is on fire, if someone needs immediate medical attention, if Pamela Lee is on TV or if there is an emergency that needs a hero.
7. You can’t complain that there are no good guys around while some of us are still single.
8. If you ask us, “Do you think she’s prettier then me?” we just might say, “Yes.” Then what are you going to do?
9. Don’t expect even a great relationship with us to solve all your problems. Just because we love you, doesn’t mean your cellulite, your credit card debt or your bad mood will disappear.
10. We would not wear high heels to impress you.
11. Breathe occasionally so we can get a word in.
12. For us, driving is not just a means of going from point A to point B. It’s an opportunity to control a couple of tons of steel. We drive, therefore, we are.
13. If you want us to notice something, help us out by saying something like, “I went to the beauty shop today.”
14. If you have to have a cat, at least don’t call him “Mister” anything.
15. Hide the self help books when we come over. They make us nervous.
16. We need to vegetate.
17. We don’t go shopping. When we need something, we buy it.
18. We believe our bodily functions are perfectly normal and, at times, quite amusing.
19. We don’t believe you when you say money isn’t important to you.
20. When we see pictures of Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones we feel proud and happy to be men. We don’t care if it’s not fair.
21. It’s not that we don’t want to make you happy, it’s just that sometimes, we don’t know how.
22. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it’s up, put it down.
23. If it itches, it will be scratched.
24. If you ask a question you don’t really want an answer to, expect an answer you didn’t want to hear.
25. Sometimes, we’re not thinking about you. Live with it.
26. Don’t ask us what were thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss topis such as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.
27. Sundays equals sports. Period.
28. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
29. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
30. You have enough clothes.
31. You have too many shoes.
32. Crying is blackmail.
33. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.
34. Ask for what you want. Let’s be clear on this one: Subtle hints don’t work. Strong hints don’t work. Really obvious hints don’t work. Just say it!
35. No, we don’t know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar you know we check.
36. We’re not mind readers and we never will be. OUr lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
37. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we’d be any good at choosing which pair – out of 30 – would look good with your dress?
38. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
39. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
40. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
41. Check your oil.
42. Don’t fake it. We’d rather be ineffective than deceived.
43. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take any quiz together.
44. It doesn’t matter which quiz.
45. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.
46. If you won’t dress like the Victoria Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like the soap opera guys.
47. If something we said could be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
48. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
49. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
50. Christopher Columbus didn’t need directions, and neither do we.
51. If you wear a Wonderbra and a low-cut blouse, you lose the right to complain about having your boobs stared at.
52. Our relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.
53. Men see a limited number of colors, like Windows default settings. Peach is a fruit, not a color.
54. Ditto melon.
55. If we ask what’s wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing is wrong.

Understand your man. Keep him.

UNDERSTAND YOUR MAN. KEEP HIM.

Boeing 777-200ER [Missing Flight From Malaysia]

I don’t know but this story is so puzzling that I find myself reading about it whenever I get the chance, desperate to gain knowledge of some worthwhile update. While countries are doing the best they can to find this plane occupied by over 200 passengers, my heart goes out to all the families and friends out there waiting–no doubt–impatiently to hear the news that their loved ones are okay…..that they will be coming back to them soon. 😦

Grief: Family and friends waiting for the plane to arrive break down as they hear the jet has gone missing. The flight vanished off the coast of Vietnam around two hours after taking off.

[CREDIT: http://www.sfgate.com] KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia (AP) — Piracy and pilot suicide are among the scenarios under study as investigators grow increasingly certain the missing Malaysian Airlines jet changed course and headed west after its last radio contact with air traffic controllers.

The latest evidence suggests the plane didn’t experience a catastrophic incident over the South China Sea as was initially suspected. Some experts theorize that one of the pilots, or someone else with flying experience, hijacked the plane or committed suicide by plunging the jet into the sea.

A U.S. official said Friday in Washington that investigators are examining the possibility of “human intervention” in the plane’s disappearance, adding it may have been “an act of piracy.” The official, who wasn’t authorized to talk to the media and spoke on condition of anonymity, said it also was possible the plane may have landed somewhere.

TAKE A LOOK AT THE RECENT UPDATES ON THIS CASE YET: http://www.nytimes.com/2014/03/15/world/asia/malaysia-military-radar.html?_r=0

Finding Mr. Right

 

…..So, there’s been this forever talk about finding this “Mr. Right”–I’m sure–for decades now. TV has orchestrated the idea of the “perfect” man and we all just fall limp to its opinions….. 

According to Noelle-Neumann’s Spiral of Silence theory we, the minority, often tend to go a long with popular opinion which is broadcast-ed by the Media in order to avoid social isolation. There is one aspect of a woman’s life where she is caught up in this mass of confusion; one every female can relate to. And that is the idea of a “Mr. Right”. Most often than not, “Mr. Right” is portrayed in movies and reality shows as a dark tall and handsome businessman or doctor with a heart-stopping smile and more-than-enough money to spare. Italian shoes, a Ferrari…..and incredible connections to expensive restaurants are normally added to the package as well. So, if you believe in fairy-tales (and everyone has their own liking) you might find yourself in a deep ditch one day because quite frankly, such things do not exist. At least not in this world anyway. 

In my opinion, do not waste precious time searching for a “perfect” man for we all know that you’ll never find one. Consider this: you’ve decided to devote the 2014-2016 period to finding yourself a “Mr. Right” but at the end of that tenure “he” turns out to be not what you had bargained for. My friend, you would have just wasted TWO YEARS of your life!! During that time a perfectly sweet and spontaneous guy could have possibly slipped right through your fingers because you had been chasing after unicorns instead of embracing a real flesh and blood man. 

I had been fooled once by my obsession with what TV has taught me about “Mr. Right” as well. I had gone searching–rather, waiting–for a perfect man to fall in my life and had been hurt terribly. Why? Because what I thought and I had wanted–specifically, what TV had taught me to want–was not what I had actually needed. So I had almost failed to embrace the perfect man FOR me when he had strolled casually into my life. 

KR was my eye-opener into reality. I had found that he was the first person I wanted to see in the mornings, the person I ate lunch with everyday…the person who I often sat with for hours talking about nothing in particular. He had become my best friend. And I had taken so long–but not too long, thank God–to realize that I had fallen in love with him. He had become the RIGHT man for ME.

Ladies, instead of allowing TV to make this choice of who your perfect guy should be, go off on a tangent and explore your options. You’d be surprised at what you find. He may come by in uniform, leather-ware, deck shorts and slippers…even faded jeans and sneakers. Whatever the case, as long as he treats you well and his feelings parallel yours, grab that man by the collar and make him yours. He might not look like “Mr. Right” according to popular opinion; in the end what others think do not matter. 

Your happiness comes first and if your willing to spend you time cherishing the guy who is right there rather than wasting years ploughing through vast populations for a man who does not exist, then you’re on the right road to true happiness. Do not fall limp to what TV wants you to believe. There is a guy out there who is just right for you. He’s YOUR right man. “Mr. Right” is just a figment of our imagination–he’s a movie character who was created to stir fantasy. Life is about compromise. And in that, you’ll find that the man who you need might not be PERFECT but he’s certainly RIGHT. 

Hannah

P.S. Enjoying MY right man.

Breathing new air………

It’s amazing how long I took to realize just how lacking THAT relationship had been. Perhaps I was too young and too willing; too submissive to the fact that I had aimed too much to please, caring little about my own needs. Relationships are about “give and take”, right? I’ve been hearing that phrase since I was a child but apparently all my wise advisors had somewhat failed to mention just how much I was to give and how much to take in return. So when I had found myself shadowed by him who had given so very little and demanded so much to the point where I thought I was beginning to lose myself…..I had not known the pain it was truly causing me until he had taken it ALL and I had no more to give.
Naturally…or unnaturally (depending on how composed you keep your emotions), I had found myself curled up on my sofa, a blanket tugged all the way up to my chin, a few bars of chocolate and a stomach that seemed to be quite bottomless…..and my TV on Lifetime, watching a movie I’d probably seen ten times before. I had put my phone on ‘silent’, just so I wouldn’t hear when he called to apologize (that’s IF he apologized, which he HADN’T) but ON anyways so I could the number of missed calls–there were no missed calls. Just a few text messages from my network about some holiday free-calling promotion I could care less about. It’s not as if I had anyone to call anyway…
…..The SOMEONE I used to call AND text for hours had dumped me flat on my ass–well, technically, I was the one who broke it off–for another girl who was less ‘plain’ than I was. Imagine that? The guy who you had devoted your life to for over two and a half years tells you you’re too ‘bland’ for his taste! I had been horrified, really. But the tears never came. I had taken the insult like a boss and did the bravest thing yet (I still credit myself for the strength I had shown for I have no idea where it had suddenly come from).
I’d said, ‘No hard feelings, MH. I wish you the very best in life.’ At that point, I had thought myself weak; too defeated to even manage a spicy retort.
But guess what, MH, today–and two years later–I finally feel the sweetness of victory. I find that I no longer need your apologies (hell, I’ll apologize FOR you. I had wished you well regardless of how much you had hurt me. I’d loved you, MH, but that day I had chosen to love myself MORE; so I let you go. Hurrah, for me!!

-Hannah

P.S- The Lifetime movie was ‘Finding Mr. Right.

Sample of My Current Novel (Y) I’m open to feedback: “The Earl’s Servant Bride”

Climbing Mountains in High-Heels

CHAPTER ONE

(Leicester Manor, 1813)

Kane de Montfort, Earl of Leicester, could not stand the fact that he was left stranded in the woods… again. Served him right for going against his better judgement thinking he could tame that wild beast. Blowing out a long exasperated sigh, he pushed a low-lying branch out of his way, drier ones crunching sharply beneath his boots. The humongous beast of a horse had none but thrown him off its back and down into a pile of, what he’d never admit to anyone was, animal droppings.  Using a handkerchief to remove the excess filth from his cloak, he then took hurried strides in the direction of his house.
It was evening and he could already imagine the pitiful glare his mother, the dowager countess, would be giving him the moment he stepped through the foyer. Lady Victoria always had thought him too impulsive for…

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