Tag Archive | humour

Things Girls Wish Guys Knew

Are you kidding me...?

Are you kidding me…?

So…..yesterday, I posted the article ‘Rules That Guys Wish Girls Knew’ and I have to say, I still find some of those rules hilarious even though the  meaning within and behind the words rang very true. In case you are wondering, YES, those rules were created by man simply for the benefit of themselves (not by women who THINK they know what men think). In this,and I assume the reason for creating the rules is that, women can be more educated–so to speak–about the male mind and in the long wrong understand their men and thus benefiting from this knowledge as well.  

Guys, I know sometimes you rarely can seem to understand your woman. Heck, we are the most complicated creatures that exist! This list is for you too… if you want to be prepared on how to better understand her rants and rages or just simply know what to do, what NOT to do and HOW to do it. Women can be very frustrating, we know, but bear with us please. We really can’t help it! Behind it all, we are just gentle beings who are afraid of getting hurt so we allow even the tiniest things to tick us off. We love you loads but we are easily threatened…and things you might consider as ‘simple’ really aren’t in our world.

On the other hand, speaking as a woman, I know that there are many things that we would just love to blurt to our men but do not–or cannot–find the courage to do so. Come on, you know what I’m talking about here 😉 : the moment he’s checking out another girl right in front of you… OR …you’re waiting endlessly for his phone call and it comes a whole decade later (exaggeration but that’s how long it feels like). So ladies, if you’re the type who is too shy to voice your feelings to your man at times, I have one key advice for you:

GET A COPY OF THESE RULES… SLAM IT DOWN BEFORE HIM AND SAY, “READ THIS.”

[DISCLAIMER: Be prepared to receive an earful about what he thinks is garbage and what he ‘knows’ is simply…..more garbage]

Lol.  In the end, don’t you worry yourself about what he doesn’t agree to. As a guy, he WILL find some of it to reject. It’s purely in his nature. At the end of the day–and at the end of him reading those rules–the words would have sunk in, trust me. He WILL get the picture you’re so vividly painting!!

SO HERE THEY ARE:

1. Don’t tell us when you think other girls are hot.

2. We know you might have crushes…but do keep them in their place. It’s YOUR duty to do so. We don’t have time for that drama.

3. We love when you brag and boast about us. Makes us feel cherished.
4. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
5. There is no such thing as too much spooning.
6. We think about you ALL the time.
7. This is how we see it . . . Don’t call = Don’t Care.
8. Which also means that if we don’t call, take the hint.
9. We like you to be a little jealous . . . but overly possessive is not necessary.
10. We hate that you can eat all you want and not get fat (some of us, at least).
11. Return favours: we massage, you massage; we go down, you go down; we shave, you shave (and not just your face).
12. Foreplay is not an option . . . its a prerequisite.
13. We’re allowed to be late . . . you are not.
14. Eye contact is key.
15. Don’t take longer to get ready than we do.
16. Laugh at our jokes.
17. Three words . . . honesty, honesty, honesty.
18. Groupies are UNACCEPTABLE.

19. We never have to wonder if your orgasm was real.
20. Do not start with us. You will not win.
21. Would you like it if a guy treated your sister that way? We didn’t think so.
22. If you ask nicely, we usually answer the same way.
23. We will never have enough clothes or shoes!
24. We have an excuse to act bitchy at least once a month.
25. Open the door for us no matter where we are . . . even at our house and getting into the car.
26. We love surprises!
27. We liked to be kissed softly, not with an iron tongue.
28. Pay attention to the little things we do, because they mean the most.
29. Boxers and maybe boxer briefs sometimes . . . NEVER whitey-tighties, NEVER!
30. Clean your room before we come over.
31. Always brush your teeth before you see us . . . a fresh mouth and white teeth are a necessity.
32. We always want to talk to you. Us having an argument does not give you the right to not call.
33. Even though you are sometimes insensitive and hurt us, we still love you with everything we are.
34. ALWAYS introduce us as your girlfriend. ‘Friend’? That’s what you’d be if you don’t.
35. Don’t act hard around your friends because I won’t make you hard tonight.
36. Sometimes “NO!” really means “NO!”
37. “Wife Beaters” are not an adequate form of fashion.
38. If we wanted to be on video tape, we’d be a porn star not your girlfriend.
39. Sensitive guys are great . . . but crying more than we do in a movie just isn’t right.
40. Don’t let ex-girlfriends cause drama, relationships are stressful enough.
41. It takes a special kind of stupid to forget birthdays.
42. Guys who are good cuddlers = guys who know how to satisfy a woman.
43. “Fat Chicks” have feelings too.
44. Silent treatment, shoulder shrugs, tears, yelling and nasty looks all add up to . . . YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG!
45. If you are not a good dancer, please be self-aware.
46. Just because a girl doesn’t pick up on the first ring doesn’t mean she’s not waiting by the phone.
47. You don’t have to spend a lot, if it means a lot.
48. Don’t say you love me if you don’t mean it.
49. Don’t lie to us . . . we will catch you.
50. When the girls get together, we talk about EVERYTHING. Meaning my best friends know everything about you.

HAVE ALL THAT IN CHECK AND WE’LL BE THE HAPPIEST GIRL YOU’LL EVER HAVE. IN OTHER WORDS…YOU CAN STOP SWEATING NOW! 😉

Yup;that's all we're asking, baby!

Yup; that’s all we’re asking, baby!

 

Rules That Guys Wish Girls Knew ;-)

So, I ran into this article a couple days ago and simply HAD to share it with you guys. I find it very interesting and I do believe that it provides an extremely good insight into the minds of guys…and what us women should be aware of. It would seriously help in understanding our men and therefore improving lots of relationships which may (or may not–whatever the case) lack a certain degree of communication. After all, in the end it is all worth it. Whatever we may think, we simply cannot live without them.

WARNING: SOME OF THESE RULES ARE DEEMED EXTREMELY HILARIOUS (BUT TRUE NEVERTHELESS!!)

images[SOURCE: http://showcase.netins.net/web/tash/rules/rules.html%5D

1. Sometimes we just don’t want to talk. Don’t take it personally.
2. We notice other women because we are men and we are alive. This does not mean we’re planning to dump you and jump them.
3. Our favorite T-shirts are not “disgraceful.” They show our loyalty to our college, our favorite sports team, our favorite beer, our favorite vacation or number 23.
4. Helpless is not cute.
5. Get to the point.
6. Understand that men are single-minded and can only do one thing at a time. So don’t talk to us while we’re doing something. We will either ignore you, because we don’t hear you “honestly), or we’ll screw up what we’re doing because you’ve distracted us.
Exception to Rule 6. Interrupt us if something is on fire, if someone needs immediate medical attention, if Pamela Lee is on TV or if there is an emergency that needs a hero.
7. You can’t complain that there are no good guys around while some of us are still single.
8. If you ask us, “Do you think she’s prettier then me?” we just might say, “Yes.” Then what are you going to do?
9. Don’t expect even a great relationship with us to solve all your problems. Just because we love you, doesn’t mean your cellulite, your credit card debt or your bad mood will disappear.
10. We would not wear high heels to impress you.
11. Breathe occasionally so we can get a word in.
12. For us, driving is not just a means of going from point A to point B. It’s an opportunity to control a couple of tons of steel. We drive, therefore, we are.
13. If you want us to notice something, help us out by saying something like, “I went to the beauty shop today.”
14. If you have to have a cat, at least don’t call him “Mister” anything.
15. Hide the self help books when we come over. They make us nervous.
16. We need to vegetate.
17. We don’t go shopping. When we need something, we buy it.
18. We believe our bodily functions are perfectly normal and, at times, quite amusing.
19. We don’t believe you when you say money isn’t important to you.
20. When we see pictures of Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones we feel proud and happy to be men. We don’t care if it’s not fair.
21. It’s not that we don’t want to make you happy, it’s just that sometimes, we don’t know how.
22. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it’s up, put it down.
23. If it itches, it will be scratched.
24. If you ask a question you don’t really want an answer to, expect an answer you didn’t want to hear.
25. Sometimes, we’re not thinking about you. Live with it.
26. Don’t ask us what were thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss topis such as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.
27. Sundays equals sports. Period.
28. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
29. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
30. You have enough clothes.
31. You have too many shoes.
32. Crying is blackmail.
33. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.
34. Ask for what you want. Let’s be clear on this one: Subtle hints don’t work. Strong hints don’t work. Really obvious hints don’t work. Just say it!
35. No, we don’t know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar you know we check.
36. We’re not mind readers and we never will be. OUr lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
37. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we’d be any good at choosing which pair – out of 30 – would look good with your dress?
38. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
39. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
40. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
41. Check your oil.
42. Don’t fake it. We’d rather be ineffective than deceived.
43. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take any quiz together.
44. It doesn’t matter which quiz.
45. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.
46. If you won’t dress like the Victoria Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like the soap opera guys.
47. If something we said could be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
48. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
49. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
50. Christopher Columbus didn’t need directions, and neither do we.
51. If you wear a Wonderbra and a low-cut blouse, you lose the right to complain about having your boobs stared at.
52. Our relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.
53. Men see a limited number of colors, like Windows default settings. Peach is a fruit, not a color.
54. Ditto melon.
55. If we ask what’s wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing is wrong.

Understand your man. Keep him.

UNDERSTAND YOUR MAN. KEEP HIM.